Road Rage & Sausages

Chris and Paul are officially back on tour together — surviving late-night drives, freezing hotel rooms, dodgy car parks, and heated debates about banquet nights, and sausages. 

They've finally got round in creating a theme tune to "What Gets On Your Tuts" 

Thanks for listening and do not forget to like, subscribe and share with your mates. You can get in touch with your questions, shoutouts, TUTS of the week,  postpavilionpodcast@gmail.com or check us out on Facebook and Instagram @postpavilionpodcast for all your pod updates 

Transcript

Chris 0:01

Tired of stepping on mysterious invisible landmines at 2 a.m. Introducing LEGO, the only toy that doubles as a home security system. Why spend money on alarms when one tiny brick can have you screaming louder than a fire alarm? Lego. Because pain is temporary, but stepping on that one brick will haunt you forever.

Paul 0:23

Welcome to the Post Favilion Podcast. Two mates, a couple of microphones, and absolutely no plan. We chat everyday life, how we became friends, and things that amuse us far more than anything probably should. And tell you what, there's a lot of pointless guff on the way. Listen back to previous episodes to find out what the true meaning of guff is. Welcome to the Post Pavilion Podcast.

Chris 0:48

Welcome to the Post Pavilion Podcast with me, Chris.

Paul 0:52

And me Paul. Whoa, that's different.

Chris 0:55

Sounds different.

Paul 0:57

Well, we didn't say our full names for starters, we just said Chris and Paul then.

Chris 1:01

Did we?

Paul 1:02

Yeah.

Chris 1:02

I said Chris Morley.

Paul 1:04

What just then? I think I did. Should we do it again? No, you didn't. You went you said, welcome to the post pavilion podcast with me, Chris. And then you paused. And then I was like, oh, he's not even doing full names.

Chris 1:16

Oh, sorry. We'll go, we'll start out again. Formal. Welcome to the Post Pavilion Podcast with me, Chris Morley.

Paul 1:23

And me, Paul Gilbert. Better. Better. How are we? Do you know what? I hate to say it, but normal service has been resumed. It has. Do you know why? Why? I was asleep ten minutes ago. Always tired. Always tired. So tired. I I literally, you text me and said, Oh, his voice is going. My voice is going, but you text me and said, I'm free whenever to record. I'll be like, yeah. And then I said, Shall we do it at quarter past eleven? I was like, yeah. And you went, Yeah, that's cool. Guess what I did? What? I went back to sleep. You didn't. I did. I went back to sleep. I set an alarm for eleven, and then now I'm here.

Chris 2:10

Well, I mean you only had to go out of the bed and down the stairs, I guess.

Paul 2:14

I've not even gone down the stairs, I've gone into my spare room. I'm gonna give the listeners a little insight. I'm not wearing any pants.

Chris 2:24

It's honestly thank goodness the camera's off.

Paul 2:27

Yeah, I know. I've just got a pair of shorts on and I've just put a hoodie on. Uh that's it. And then it's I couldn't be any more.

Chris 2:34

Well, today's episode is gonna be a corker.

Paul 2:37

Yes, it is.

Chris 2:38

We've got loads to discuss. We have actually. Uh, first things first. Uh I've I'm I've joined you sort of on tour this week, haven't I? We've done quite a few days together. Uh we've been up and down the country, and if I'm honest, I know you're always saying you're tired. I I I can vouch for you on that one. It's not an easy run what you do, and I've just done a little I've just got a little snippet of it.

Paul 3:01

Yeah, you've had a little tea like a uh what do they call it? Like a taster session. Yes. So you joined you joined the uh the land the buttons tour uh last midweek uh at the time of recording. Um so you did three resorts, and then you went home for a bit. You went home for a night, yeah, and then you we then went up to Runcorn. We did. And then at the time of recording, we did Runcorn yesterday, and now we're back home.

Chris 3:29

Two great shows, I have to say. Very, very fun. Uh, and actually, before that, I was in Wakefield and Manchester the weekend before. So I've done a few miles in the old little fiesta. Tell you something, it's still going. What the little banger.

Paul 3:44

Yep. Uh, and do you know what's been how is being on tour though? Talk to me. Do you know what? I talk to me.

Chris 3:50

Apart from the the tiredness, I've I've loved it. Genuinely, I've loved it. Um it's nice to spend time with you as well. We've actually spent more time this week, I think, than we ever have done in person. So that's been good.

Paul 4:04

In the past ten years, probably, yeah.

Chris 4:06

Yeah, and I got we got to perform on stage again. So Yeah, that's that's the weird bit.

Paul 4:11

And people are going, I bet it's nice to be on stage together again. And you go, do you know what? Yes, it is. We we we did I did join you on a cruise ship last year, but that was for a week. That's right. And but we only did four shows, was it? Yeah, that would be a bit. Over the course of seven years. Yeah, that would have been it. So but now we're we're in.

Chris 4:31

We're in, we're on, we're on together for the well, we're touring up and down the country for the next two weeks, best part of, isn't it?

Paul 4:38

Enjoy your freedom, mate. Because from tomorrow, that's it. That's it. You're leaving your car at one of the resorts, and you're getting in the van with me, yeah, and we're travelling.

Chris 4:50

Well, that's do you know what? That is that's the bit I'm looking for I'm looking forward to all of it, to be fair. And you know, once you get into a run of it, it's gonna be it's gonna be great fun, isn't it? So um And do you know what, mate?

Paul 5:00

You have embraced I don't think you've got I don't think you've been given the credit that you deserve. Really? I don't, you know, uh every you know, you have you have learnt two shows, you've learnt the the Butling show, yeah. Then you learnt the theatre show, which was strange because I had to learn the theatre show like yesterday for the first time. We were both in the show for me too.

Chris 5:22

All in the same boat, weren't we?

Paul 5:24

But I have got so many people like you were on stage yesterday at the theatre, and one of the team in the show turned to me and they went, He is good, isn't he?

Chris 5:33

Did they?

Paul 5:34

I didn't well you were on stage and I went, Yeah, he is, and it's weird because I know how good you are.

Chris 5:41

Yeah, well I know how good you are.

Paul 5:42

From well, thank you, but I know how good you are, and they see me every day on stage because we work together every day on stage. But when somebody else from the outside comes in, it's it's fresh, isn't it? Of course it is, and and someone, yeah, one of the team said to me yesterday, they just looked at me and went, He is good, isn't he? But for me, I go, Yeah, he is, yeah. He's okay. And it doesn't mean it it means something to me, but it doesn't mean something to me because I know you, you know, but they don't know you, you know what I mean.

Chris 6:14

And a lot of them, a lot of them have never seen me in shows because well, why would they? Unless they're specifically coming to see me in a show that they know.

Paul 6:24

Exactly, exactly. But you also had your first um I say it's not your first, you you're in your 30s, it's not your first night drive, but you had the first animal guys drive from one resort to the other. Yes, and we left at like 10 o'clock from one resort, and then we got to the next resort at 3.30 in the morning.

Chris 6:43

We did. And do you know what? I did that I've done that years ago, but I was in my early 20s, and back then, you have loads of energy, don't you? As as we all know, as you get a bit older, it takes it out of you a bit more.

Paul 6:55

But I've got an amazing video of you on my phone that when this episode goes out live, I'm gonna post it. Um, that video because let me describe the video. You were we we got into the accommodation, yeah, and we had a brew. We did, which was nice.

Chris 7:13

Very nice at half past three in the morning, put the wheels alright.

Paul 7:15

Yeah, put the world to right at half past three. Then you decided to go to bed. You were like, right, I need to go to bed, and you just stood in your doorway holding your suitcase half open, and we're like, I don't know what I was doing. I need to go to bed. What's funny about that? Your suitcase has got wheels.

Chris 7:31

I know, I felt a bit I felt a bit delirious. It was a bit like those moments because I shouldn't be up. And uh and what didn't help is that the accommodation, the room that I was in, somebody had left the window wide open and it was boltic in there, so I ended up sleeping in my clothes for the first 30 minutes.

Paul 7:49

Welcome, it happens all the time.

Chris 7:52

And then you went, stick the heating on, so you stuck the heater on, and then I forgot to switch it off, and I was roasted in the morning. I was like my mouth was so dry.

Paul 8:00

I was like, So, my do you know what my my advice to you in in that scenario, should that happen over the next few weeks, is I think just brave it. Yeah, just get your PJs on or your birthday suit, whatever you choose to wear in bed, and even though it can be freezing, you just stick the heater on, a nice five or six, and then just get into bed how you would normally do.

Chris 8:26

So you so see, I put my coat clothes on because it was that cold. I might as well have slept outside for the first half an hour.

Paul 8:32

No, see, uh that's happened to me loads of times, and what you have to do sometimes is just take it, just go get it. Just get your PJs on or your birthday suit, and then you just get into bed as normal and just embrace it for 15-20 minutes. You'll you'll moan, you'll swear, you'll you'll you'll you'll you'll regret life choices, and then eventually you warm up and then you have a nice sleep. Then you haven't got that, I'm freezing, I'm hot.

Chris 8:59

I even double duvet. There was another duvet on a there was another bed in the room, so I just got the other duvet. So I double duvet. Uh but no, listen, it was it was it's been a great week, and it's been it's been uh very exciting because trying to learn two new shows and doing them and actually having to do them, uh it was it was like you you're you're so up and down all the time, aren't you? Because you're just running off adrenaline and then suddenly you go, Well, I've got to do it again.

Paul 9:23

So uh there was there was a there was a massive difference between like like show one of one of the shows and then show two. Show one, it was like you were on acid.

Chris 9:35

Yeah.

Paul 9:35

I think stood next to you, it was like it was like, hang on a minute, you used to slam down here. And then second show, you just chilled, you mellowed, you relaxed.

Chris 9:46

And that's it, and that's it. And now now I've done them, I feel much more relaxed. Much more crazy.

Paul 9:51

Do you know what is quite uh not upsetting, but quite like frustrating is that yesterday we did a theatre show in Roncorn, and that's it. I'm not doing another theatre. You're not doing another theatre show this year, are you?

Chris 10:04

Well, who knows?

Paul 10:06

Who knows what the future holds.

Chris 10:08

What will the future hold? Time will tell. But no, it's been very good, and we're gonna obviously uh the next few weeks uh we'll be together. So uh lots of lots of content here on the post-video podcast. We're filming loads, loads of people come up to us going, they'd listen to the pod as well, people that we know, people that you know, people that sort of know. Yeah, it was weird.

Paul 10:26

And we had um when we were at one of the resorts last week, uh somebody that listens to the podcast was actually there, who was a guest on holiday, came up to us and was very happy that we were together. Really? Yeah, remember Ellis? Yes, oh yeah, let's give Ellis a shout out. Oh, hello, hello Ellis, thank you for coming over to say hello.

Chris 10:49

He'd see he'd seen us back in the day when we were red coats many, many years ago, and that was what, 20 odd years ago? So, and he and he still remembers us from then. That's scary.

Paul 10:59

Do you know what makes you feel old is when you see somebody that comes up to you and goes, Hello, remember when I'm a red, and then they go, How old are you? And they go, 25, 20.

Chris 11:07

25, I know.

Paul 11:08

Yeah, great.

Chris 11:09

Thanks. We need to talk about as well, uh a bit of controversy, actually, about last the last episode.

Paul 11:17

Uh well, what happened on the last episode?

Chris 11:19

So if you're not listening, if you're not uh listen back on the last episode, you announced at the end of the podcast a star listener, brand new feature.

Paul 11:28

Yes, and I our our last star listener was Paul Flinders. Yes. Because he's listened to all of our 25, 26 episodes in one go. He went for it.

Chris 11:38

I don't even know what we were saying in episode one, if I'm quite honest.

Paul 11:41

Well, that's really strange because I listened to 10 minutes of the first ever episode. I can't do it. I can't do it in lockdown. I think we were in lockdown when we did the first ever episode. I think we were, and I I I felt I felt like I I sounded like I was being forced to do it. It was like it was something to do, everyone's doing podcasts, yeah, and I I I I didn't know what I was doing. Didn't feel relaxed. No, I sounded so miserable. We were in lockdown, every way on. Uh exactly, I think everybody was miserable at yeah, yeah, we were a little bit miserable, but right, if you get the chap, just listen to anybody that's listening and you Chris later on or whenever you get f five, just go back and listen to episode one of the post-million podcast just for the first even like five minutes.

Chris 12:38

It's painful. Oh god. I just just you talking about it makes you feel makes you feel awful. Uh I mean some some would say that it it hasn't changed much since, but uh well yeah.

Paul 12:49

If I sound miserable now, it's just I I've literally been awake 15 minutes.

Chris 12:52

He's been awake 15 minutes, that's fine.

Paul 12:53

So yeah, so this is what this is not being miserable, this is authentic.

Chris 12:57

That's the yes, you're the real Paul here.

Paul 12:59

There's no the real but yeah, we had controversy. Tell me about the controversy.

Chris 13:04

Yeah, so basically, you obviously you announced who the star listener was, and there was another listener by the name of uh by the name of Chris, uh Chris Gray. He is a he's a he's a regular listener on the podcast, he's a he's a he's a former work colleague. Uh and uh he he was upset that he was a star listener, and I said, Well, that's the way he is sometimes I didn't make the decision.

Paul 13:28

So I actually think I've got his conversation with me on uh on WhatsApp. Let me try and find it.

Chris 13:36

No there was some word there was some words I cannot repeat on this podcast that he Oh it was a voice note, wasn't it?

Paul 13:44

Uh uh No, no, I think it was a voice note, and I'm not even playing the voice note. It's not worth it. No, it's not worth it. But yes, uh, there is controversy. Chris Grey was very unhappy um that he wasn't Star Listener.

Chris 13:57

Yeah, well, look maybe he didn't deserve it.

Paul 14:00

That's all I'm saying.

Chris 14:01

You know, we'll find out, we'll find out our star listener at the end of this episode. So Nice.

Paul 14:07

Uh talk to me. I've got something to speak to you about. Um why do you uh you won't park in any car parks unless they're four stars or less. I've been dying to I I purposely, no, wait a minute, let me talk. I purposely haven't discussed this with you face to face, but I heard through the grapevine, through other people, yeah that before you park anywhere, like if you're travelling to a gig or you go to see friends or family or whatever, and you need to park in a car park, you go on Google and you check the reviews of the car park. Is this right?

Chris 14:44

This is not true. This is true. It is apparently you won't park in it.

Paul 14:48

No wait, you won't park in a car park unless it's got four stars or more.

Chris 14:52

I didn't say that. That wasn't what was said. Okay.

Paul 14:55

What was said then? Right, I'll get on. Tell me about paint the picture.

Chris 14:58

Basically, we were going somewhere new that I'd never been before, right? This is to go and do a theatre, so I need to go and work out where to park the car. Now, there's a few car parks in the area, okay?

Paul 15:08

Yep.

Chris 15:09

But there was one car park that was at the top of the list that it just said, you know, sometimes when you look at Google and it just comes up with a review and it said three stars, and it was like, and there was the first comment, and it said, Don't park your car here because it'll probably get nicked. So I went, I'm not gonna park there because on Google it said it my car was gonna get nicked. I didn't go through all the comments, and I just thought to myself, why would I want to go for the comments? That's quite sad. But so I just went to the next best car park and and I just looked at the top comment and went, This is a lovely car park. Go and park in here, and I went, I'll do that. I don't I'd never it's only because Google does it. So when you Google anything, it comes up with the first couple of reviews, doesn't it? And that's what it had on the car park.

Paul 15:50

So I did technically you checked a review. Correct.

Chris 15:56

Yeah, you technically you are right.

Paul 15:59

So technically, you so the person that told me that you won't park in a car park unless it's got less than four stars.

Chris 16:06

No, no, there is no criteria. There's no criteria.

Paul 16:08

So actually, the car park you actually parked in, how many stars does that have?

Chris 16:11

That was about 4.2, I think it was.

Paul 16:13

No, there you go. So it's actually true.

Chris 16:16

Look, and there's no criteria, it has to have four stars and above.

Paul 16:20

It would sound like it though, doesn't it?

Chris 16:22

But then I was intrigued. So when I had a bit of time. So then you went looking. So no, I'll park the car, that was fine. When I just thought, I wonder what other comments there were. You know, I was just burning some time. There's some great comments on these car parks. You're thinking, yeah, people have got a lot of time on their hands. And I did that particular day. So check out your local car park reviews. I'll I'll tell you what, on the next on the next episode, I'm gonna find some random car parks.

Paul 16:47

Find that's what you should do a segment a segment called Funny Reviews.

Chris 16:51

Funny reviews for car parks. For car parks. Stay tuned.

Paul 16:55

You know what though? I'm gonna I'm actually gonna be I'm actually in your boat a little bit. At no point I'm more I find it more humorous that this has actually happened and you do do this. I was you were gonna park in a car park that was three stars, but you ended up parking in a car park that was four point two stars.

Chris 17:13

Well, the car park that I was near, there was a fight outside it. So uh I didn't put that in the review, did I?

Paul 17:19

Oh, well there you go. But I me personally, I won't park in a car park unless it's secure parking.

Chris 17:27

Oh, you go you go the other way. You go uh like you need a barrier and stuff.

Paul 17:31

I need sorry, I need a barrier. I need CCTV. A shutter. You know what? If there is a shutter, that that's that's like Christmas Day. It's there's one in um there's one in Birmingham, um right in the centre of Birmingham that are uh that I if I ever go to Birmingham, I always park there because you pull up and the shutter opens. Oh, that's poshing it. That's a car park, in it. And then the shutter closes behind you and then the next barrier lifts up and then you're in.

Chris 17:58

See, I'd be scared to get locked in. It's alright, getting in, it's just getting out. Well, sometimes it closes the car parks, don't it, at certain times. Anyway, we're digressing.

Paul 18:06

I I I I I uh I am I I yeah, I won't do it. I won't park in if I'm going somewhere and it's just like a town centre, and you just dump it in a car park. I can't do that.

Chris 18:16

So what's someone next to your car? Well, we've got one in Bournemouth. Right, okay, as we go on about car parks. There's one in Bournemouth and it says you can park here for a pound for about 10 hours. There's a reason for that because it's it's literally on a gravel track, and it's it's it's like someone's got a bit of land and went, I'm just gonna dump some cars here. But it is Andy if you go into Bournemouth. So if you want to get near the beach, have a look at that car park, it's right opposite the big. The local peat local people at Bournemouth know, or anyone that's visited, go and use Bournemouth.

Paul 18:44

What if we turned into tourist information for Bournemouth? On the last episode, you were talking about a block of ice in Bournemouth. So we can head down and see it. People have switched off now, haven't they? Um great content.

Chris 18:55

Great content, wall full of car parks. Uh AI I'll have a fill day when it comes to uh doing the chapters on Spotify. Absolutely, they will.

Paul 19:03

Absolutely we will car parks. Talk to me about what to talk about next.

Chris 19:06

Uh oh, we had a lovely review of the podcast. Thanks for everybody that has reviewed the podcast. Uh, lots of people uh go on uh they use Apple Podcasts as Spotify and you give it five stars, puts it at the top of the list and get all the notifications, all that stuff. But we did have a review this week, an actual written review.

Paul 19:23

We did, and I did post it on the socials. Are you reading it out? Do you what you're doing? You do it to read it out. You do it, go ahead. Right. So Amy got in touch and said that she'd been listening to our podcast, and she sent us a message saying uh a perfect podcast to breast pump to, you know.

Chris 19:41

That's the review. So I why not? I I don't really Right.

Paul 19:48

Talk to me. Breast pumping, is that like um so we can we I do now know, having done more discovery, no, I haven't found out more about breast pumping. No, I do know, right, stop.

Chris 20:01

Talk to me about breast pumping.

Paul 20:03

I'm not talking to you about breast pumping.

Chris 20:05

I'm talking to the wrong guy here.

Paul 20:06

I'm probably not I know, but what I'm saying is I have done the discovery, and Amy has just had her second child. Yes, so the reason she was breast pumping was because she's just had another another child. So congratulations to you, Amy. Yeah, like no. So, like, I just thought if I didn't know she'd had another kid, I'd be thinking, why are you breast pumping?

Chris 20:34

Well, that'd be weird, wouldn't it? That would be weird.

Paul 20:36

Yeah, exactly. And is breast pumping where you take milk? Right, stop. Stop! No, listen.

Chris 20:44

No, I'm you can't say talk to me if I have breast pumping.

Paul 20:50

I'm not the expert. Yeah, but just so you know, I I have no kids. So you've got a kid, so like, so is breast pumping where you're taking milk, yeah, but like night.

Chris 21:02

You're taking the milk right, wait a minute.

Paul 21:06

If this was only a visual podcast, this would be amazing. These are the reasons why I think we should do a visual podcast. Because basically, on FaceTime now, you've just replicated a breast.

Chris 21:16

I have.

Paul 21:17

And just went on your uh on your breasts.

Chris 21:20

And you just right, basic basically you pump milk out, so then you can save it for later on. That's basically what for a night feed.

Paul 21:27

For like a night feed, yes. If you're going out.

Chris 21:30

That's if you if you're going out, we'll do whatever, Paul. It's it I why you why are you making this awkward? It's it's a natural thing, apparently. It is a natural thing, but uh you're probably best talking to to Amy if you need a bit more information on that. I don't know why you're doing it.

Paul 21:46

I'm not gonna bring Gaming up and go talk to me about your breast pumping. You know what I mean?

Chris 21:50

Comes across a bit weird, doesn't it? Yeah, do it any comments.

Paul 21:54

It's Paul from the Post Funning Podcast. Um talk to me about breast pumping. We're doing a segment. It's called Not What Gets On Your Tuts, but What Gets On Your Tots Anyway. My goodness mate. Anyway, that was thank you so much, Amy, for getting in touch and telling us that we are a perfect podcast to breast bump.

Chris 22:11

And if you've got any if you've got any other weird reviews of where you listen to the podcast, then let us know that too. And we'll uh we'll discuss on the next one. Where else would make it weird? I mean, we could think of something or somewhere, but that's not for today.

Paul 22:26

But no, yeah, get in touch and tell us what you're doing at that point. Just drop a comment below, send us a message, do whatever. But yeah, thank you for Amy to get in touch. A perfect podcast to press one to, you know.

Chris 22:37

Get out of the poster. Uh also uh now I've been spending a lot of time with you uh this week. Uh you know what you think? I know you very well. I know you I know pretty much everything about you, but there is a there's a couple of things that sometimes just get exposed a bit of a curveball. And I go, Yep. Why didn't I know that? That's weird. Well, what happened? This week uh you got to the hotel room and tested the Wi-Fi speed.

Paul 23:06

Yeah, why wouldn't you? Well, because that's weird. I don't get that. I don't get how that's weird.

Chris 23:12

I've never gone to any room or any hotel room. The only time I had to test my Wi-Fi speed was when the Sky Man came round. He was like, Can you test your Wi-Fi speed? I went, I have no idea what you what how you do that. And he told me what to do. But I just go well, because when I go on the Wi-Fi, I go, I just search for something. If it loads up, it works. I don't I've never tested the speed of it.

Paul 23:35

Yeah, but sometimes when when you're on the road and you check into hotels or you are um staying in a big house with loads of people or whatever, sometimes you have to decide whether you're gonna use the standard Wi-Fi or you're gonna upgrade to the premium Wi-Fi.

Chris 23:53

Is there different packages then?

Paul 23:54

Yeah, certain hotel chains and stuff like that, they have like the free Wi-Fi, which you can pay for like 30 minutes, like you get free for 30 minutes, or then you can go, actually, I'll pay seven quid for 24 hours. But I but sometimes you have to test it to go, well, is it worth it? Because uh bear in mind I have my phone, uh, my iPad, yeah, uh, my fire stick. Oh yeah.

Chris 24:18

Watching those dodgy football matches, is it?

Paul 24:21

No, I'm not calling it anyway. I have a fire stick, and then if sometimes I'll take my laptop on tour. How many screens do you need? Oh no, because there's certain stuff that you can do on your laptop that you can't do on your phone, but also like Netflix. Yeah, I can watch Netflix. Netflix is installed on my fire stick, so I need to know if the Wi-Fi is good enough for me to spend seven quid on to get the premium Wi-Fi so I can plug it in.

Chris 24:48

But doesn't it actually say what the premium Wi-Fi does? Go, well, it does this, and you can stream and do all that sort of stuff without having to test it.

Paul 24:54

Yeah, but there's nothing about being missold. Sometimes you've been to places and go, uh you can stream four devices on your Wi-Fi in your room, you're like, oh, banging, and then you go, I mean, and then you go, Well, why's my phone suddenly really slow? Oh, it's because it's really slow because I'm watching something on my laptop or on my on my stick. Forget so you have to you have to go. All I do is open safari on my phone and put test my wifi speed. I'll do it now. Where's my phone?

Chris 25:21

I mean, you know, I've never I've never done that. Forget the PPI claims, get your Wi-Fi claims in.

Paul 25:28

If you've been this old Wi-Fi speed up all tomorrow night, tomorrow night, we where are we tomorrow night? We're here tomorrow night. You're staying at my house tomorrow night.

Chris 25:36

Anyway, I'm gonna test your Wi-Fi speed.

Paul 25:41

Don't test my Wi Fi. I pay a fortune for my Wi-Fi.

Chris 25:44

Oh, it's not very good. You pay like £100 a month for two megabytes.

Paul 25:48

It's right. So on one of the nights this week, when we get to one of our resorts or hotels or whatever, test your Wi-Fi speed. Oh my goodness. It's a feeling.

Chris 25:59

When you said come on tour with me, I went, Yeah, this will be fun. I never thought we'd go. Do you know what we get to get to a hotel room, we'll check the Wi-Fi speed.

Paul 26:08

Right, listen, it's it's generally it's not that weird. Is it weird? I think so. It either works or it doesn't.

Chris 26:16

I'm very much on or off. No, because that's just being simple, like uh sometimes I just put the telly on.

Paul 26:22

It either works or don't work. Sometimes you put the telly on. I don't yeah, but Freeview Telly, I'm not gonna lie, is pants. Have you there's like 600 channels and there's nothing on.

Chris 26:32

There's always a police interceptors on channel five at 2 a.m. Oh, we do love a police interceptor. Do love a police interceptors, we do love a police interceptor.

Paul 26:39

You like a 24 hours in police custody as well. Yeah, it's a great programme. Really good. You you actually ring me up and go, uh uh mate, uh, there's a new 24 hours of police custody.

Chris 26:48

Actually, I have a friend that does that to me. He texts me, he says there's a new one coming out next week. I go, good, and then I'll tell every then I'll tell you. So it's a good good little series, that.

Paul 26:57

Well, there you go. Anyways, don't have a go at me for testing my Wi-Fi.

Chris 27:02

No, all right then.

Paul 27:02

Oh, it's just you when you're on tour, you have to have the creature comforts. Is that the word? Yeah, creature comforts. Yeah, that's right, isn't it? You just simple things, you go, oh, amazing. I can FaceTime you, I can FaceTime my mum, my dad, I can FaceTime my nieces and my nephews. I can do all that with good Wi-Fi.

Chris 27:20

If I don't, then it's like oh I'll tell you what, you need to start working for Sky. You'd uh you go, Well, have you ever been to hotel rooms? You haven't got Sky Go on the go? Then make sure you get down on our app.

Paul 27:30

That's one thing I don't do either, because I pay for part of my Sky package, is I can have Sky on the go. I never use it. Ring it, give them a ring, get a better package. I don't need to ring it, I just need to log in. Anyway. Talk to me about banquet night.

Chris 27:45

Yes, well, it was actually it was it was yourself that uh that there was a very offended that I said, well, we're talking about going out for uh for a little meal, go out for an Indian, and the Indian and me, they on a Tuesday and a Wednesday night, they do a little thing called a banquet night. So it's basically you get like a freeze, you get a freestar, you get any star, you get a main, you get you get everything for like 20 quid. It's a good little deal. And they call it a banquet night.

Paul 28:09

But then you said It's not a banquet night though, is it?

Chris 28:11

It's not a banquet night. And you said that's very middle class, very, very posed. No, right.

Paul 28:15

I don't think I was more annoyed about you calling it middle. I wasn't I wasn't implying that it was middle class. What I was saying was you went, oh, I'm going out for whatever for a banquet night. Yeah. You go, it's a banquet night. Well you just go in, it's like a set menu. So it's a set menu. It's not banquet night.

Chris 28:33

Yeah, but they call it a banquet. I didn't name it. I didn't mean it, I didn't name it the set menu night. They call it a menu.

Paul 28:38

But but to be simple, you go into an Indian on a Tuesday, Wednesday where they do a set menu, and then they class it as a banquet night.

Chris 28:46

Ah, wrong. It's not a set menu. There's a menu with loads of options. Right. So with a set menu, you would have a maybe a couple of choices of different things. Right? With a banquet night, you've got the whole menu, and you go, you can pick any starter, any main, any size.

Paul 29:07

No, that's not true. That's right. If I go to the banquet night in like the top of my road, there's an Indian. If I go to a banquet night up there, there's like four starters, four mains, four desserts. That's not a banquet night.

Chris 29:20

That's just a set menu. They that this is where we're going wrong here.

Paul 29:23

That's exactly what you're talking about in the dressing room.

Chris 29:26

Now, this is a banquet night.

Paul 29:28

So, how many things, how many things does it take to tip it over from going from a set menu night to a banquet night?

Chris 29:35

Well, I guess wouldn't a set menu be you can only have these things. Whereas with the banquet night, you can have anything. You can have any curry, you can have.

Paul 29:46

So then it's not a banquet night then. It's just a normal night in a restaurant. Yeah, but it's like we went to a restaurant the other night, so you're saying when we went to that restaurant the other night, we went to a banquet night, did we? Nope. We went to a restaurant. But of course we did, it's the same thing.

Chris 29:59

No, it's not. It's not because a banquet night is is a selection of all the food that they offer, and it's a three-course meal for like say 20 quid.

Paul 30:08

Basically. So it's an offer?

Chris 30:11

Yeah.

Paul 30:12

So it's not a banquet night then. It's an offer. We have an offer, right? You can have a start of a main course and a dessert for £31.

Chris 30:18

Yeah.

Paul 30:19

So it's an offer, not a banquet.

Chris 30:21

What would you call a banquet then?

Paul 30:23

I don't even know what a banquet is.

Chris 30:25

A banquet is a load of food that you have.

Paul 30:26

Right, I'm Googling this. A banquet.

Chris 30:28

They used to have that in the olden days. A banquet. You'd have a selection of load of food. You don't need to Google that.

Paul 30:34

What is the definition?

Chris 30:37

He's Googling it. He's actually Googling it. Do you know how to spell that?

Paul 30:44

Yeah.

Chris 30:45

B A N.

Paul 30:46

Shit of A. What is the definition of a banquet night? Right, here we go. A banquet night refers to a formal lavish evening attended by a large number of people to celebrate a special occasion, achievement, or a guest.

Chris 31:03

Yes.

Paul 31:04

So actually, we're both wrong.

Chris 31:06

Yeah, well, I get that's more of a celebration, isn't it?

Paul 31:10

These gatherings emphasise elegance and community, often featuring multi-course plated dinners, toasts, speeches, and entertainment. Yes.

Chris 31:20

Well, we don't have the speeches or the entertainment, we just have a selection of courses. So that is a you have a selection of dishes.

Paul 31:26

So basically, we're all wrong.

Chris 31:28

Technically, I'm right. How because it's a selection of dishes.

Paul 31:33

When while the term can I don't know what that word is. Ecompass various types of events, it universally features distinct characteristics characteristics and purposes. Do you know what I'm still none the wiser? Well. So if you're having a banquet night, you go, Oh, Chris, I'm about to turn 40. Can you come to my banquet night?

Chris 31:57

Yeah, I'll be there.

Paul 31:58

Right, great, that's cool. So actually, it's nothing to do with anything we've discussed. Look, I think so.

Chris 32:03

We were all wrong. I think it's just a fancy title for maybe a set menu with a selection of dishes. So I'm right. No, not really. No, so I'm right.

Paul 32:12

Well, it's so when you talk about going to an Indian or a Chinese or a Green King or whatever for a banquet night, it's not banquet night. A green king. Green king. A green king. I don't even. That's a pub chain, isn't it? It is, yeah. Yeah. But if you but actually I'm right with what I'm saying. If you go to an Indian Chinese anything, and it's go, oh, we're going for a banquet night. You're not, you just go for a set menu night where it's like you can get foot three courses for 25 quid. Yes or no?

Chris 32:38

Yeah, I guess so. So I'm right. So just tell me I'm right.

Paul 32:42

So just tell me I'm right. You're right. Thank you. So it's not odd, you know. It's just a fancy title. Someone said to me the other day that they think I'd come out of my shell a little bit on this podcast.

Chris 32:52

Oh.

Paul 32:52

Yeah. Someone's like, it's nice to see it's nice to hear you get aggressive. I'm like, what do you mean?

Chris 32:57

Somebody said you're aggressive. Somebody said on the pod last episode you were too aggressive. I thought a little bit too.

Paul 33:02

Yeah, someone said you sound it sounded very aggressive. I've got the quote here. Um the message said, God, you sound aggressive and angry. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Chris 33:14

Well, I couldn't get AI to tone you down. No, don't get AI to tone me down.

Paul 33:20

Anyway, right. So there we go. The banquet night, I was right, you were wrong, yeah?

Chris 33:24

Let's let's let's agree to this agree. Uh right, it's time for our.

Paul 33:28

Can I talk to you about can I talk to you about something I did this week that was really lazy? Go on. So I went and met a couple of mates in Blackpool.

Chris 33:39

Yeah.

Paul 33:40

And we went to an establishment that you would never be seen in.

Chris 33:46

Okay.

Paul 33:47

Weatherspoons.

Chris 33:48

Yeah, never, no, don't go in there.

Paul 33:50

Yeah. And you know Weatherspoons has got the app.

Chris 33:53

Don't know, I don't go in there. Do they?

Paul 33:55

Right, okay. So, like in Weatherspoons, you have it the you have the Weatherspoons app.

Chris 34:00

A lot of pubs do that now, don't they? They have an app so you can order things for drinks.

Paul 34:03

They do it on the banquet night. Um Right, so listen. So I felt really awkward because we me and my two mates, we we got a table right next to the bar, and I sat down as we sat down at the table. We are six feet from the bar.

Chris 34:22

Yeah.

Paul 34:23

We're only six feet away. And I went, right, what's everybody's drinking? I'll get this one in because it's cheap. Of course. It's weather spoons. And then my mate went, that's right, I'll order on the app.

Chris 34:34

Oh, so he didn't want to go to the bar. He just thought, well, go.

Paul 34:37

But the bar's six feet away. So then he ordered on the app, he ordered three pints of Bud Light. Great drink, nice and cheap. But don't pull a face. Um he ordered three pints of Bud Light, and then I felt so awkward because then the machine went off that was next to the table. That the order then came through. The guy then took the ticket, looked at us like you could have come to the bar and ordered this. Yeah. Poured the pints, then he has to put them on a tray, walk all the way down the bar to the other side of the bar just to give us our drink. Is that lazy or not?

Chris 35:11

It is a bit lazy. Was the bar quiet?

Paul 35:14

It was empty.

Chris 35:15

Well, that is proper lazy. If it was Ramo, I'd go, do you know what? I'll go on the app because they're busy. They can just get the drinks in their own time. Instead of being stood there waiting at a busy bar. So I'm uh was I right to feel awkward? Absolutely was. Uh there's a friend of mine who would never ever use an app. Uh he would never I th he never used his card. He'd always have cash. Because he'd draw the he basically go to the bank and draw the money out and then spend the money of what and then pay. Do you know what?

Paul 35:46

I've started doing that. Have yeah. Yeah, I've started drawing cash out. And do you know why I've started drawing cash out? Tax reasons. No, but I've started drawing cash out to kind of go, right, there's a ho I'm if I draw a hundred quid out, I go, right, I've got a hundred quid to last me five days, seven days, whatever. But because I'm sick and tired of going on my NetWest account. I bank with NetWest. Um today's sponsor is Nat West. Yeah, but I'm sick and tired of going on, all you just see, constant pending actions, transactions all the time. So you'd rather just get you just go. So you literally rather go, there's 100 quid, I'll draw that out, I'll do that. Instead of looking in my account and goes pending, especially because you're on tour. So I can't just go sometimes make a brew or make a sandwich. So you go, oh, I'll pop to cost or I'll get a flat white. Go and get a flat white. Two hours later you go, oh fancy, I need a sandwich. Go shop and get a sandwich. So sometimes I can do like 15 transactions in a day. I don't even know why they have a pending transaction because you've already paid it. Why don't you just get rid of it? Yeah, and then you look on your account and literally goes pending. And I think the other day I had like 30 pending transactions.

Chris 36:58

That just goes to show how much you're spending on it.

Paul 37:00

And it was because I'd not been to a cash point to draw money out. But yeah, I I've started drawing cash out. I'm all for that.

Chris 37:06

When people go when I go, can I pay cash? They look at me like, what? What are you paying? You're paying with that. Yeah, yeah.

Paul 37:12

Well, there's a local there's a local establishment near where I live who made the really brave decision to literally go cash only. I'm not implying they're dodgy in any way, shape, or form, FYI. But there are posters up in his place saying cash is king. I'm all for it because cash is dying. But the fact that he's gone out. Well, because it costs him money every time you do a card transaction, doesn't it?

Chris 37:38

Well, that my hairdressers, they do cash only anyway. It throws everybody in. They're like, Can I pay? You're like, Oh yeah, you can't, because we can't go through cash punishments.

Paul 37:45

Yeah, my hairdressers is cash only, but we I've been going there for 20 years. Um, but yeah, so yeah, I'm all I'm I I agree with your mate. I'm down with that.

Chris 37:52

Yeah. Uh right, we need to talk about uh before our favourite feature. We've come up with a theme tune for it.

Paul 38:03

Yes, we finally have we finally have a theme tune um to what gets on your toots. Are you playing it?

Chris 38:10

Yeah, I'm gonna play it. We're gonna play it.

Paul 38:12

Oh wow.

Chris 38:13

So this is what gets on your toots.

Post Pavillion Podcast Theme Tune 38:17

Post pavilion podcast. What gets on your toots? What gets on your toots? Tell us what gets on your toots. What gets on your toots? What gets on your toots, what gets on your toots, what gets on your toots.

Paul 38:43

Oh, that's good. It's good, isn't it? Really good. Actually play it. I thought you were actually gonna play it.

Chris 38:48

No, no, no. I've I've You're gonna drop it in. I drop it in. But we we've heard it enough times. But we uh but so thank you uh for for that. That is AI that did that for us.

Paul 39:00

Yeah, because basically we keep asking for jingles and then we haven't we we we have no one can be bothered to make one, which is fair, I get it. Why would you make a jingle for a podcast? Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's just stupid, really. But anyway, so we went on AI and we made a jingle. I quite like it.

Chris 39:18

I I like it.

Paul 39:19

It's it's a I feel like we've gone to another level.

Chris 39:21

Yeah, now we did ask AI to do uh another version, and what did what happened?

Paul 39:29

Well, what happened was when um this was actually the first attempt at making the jingle, and instead of writing tutz, I wrote guts. So I'd done this amazing description going, Can you make us a 20-second uh theme tune for a segment of the post video podcast? And I described the podcast on there. I literally went into so much detail to explain what the segment was, and then I went, and the segment is called What Gets on Your Guts instead of writing What gets on your tutz, and it went really well. It started and was like, This is good, isn't it?

Chris 40:07

Yeah, sound sounds lovely.

Paul 40:09

Sounds amazing, and then it went, What gets on your guts? And I was like, No.

Chris 40:14

Guess what? We've got the audio for that as well. So have a listen.

What gets on your guts theme tune 40:21

Another day, another tiny paper cut. The Wi-Fi's dead, my coffee tastes like dirt. Oh, what gets on your guts? Tell us what gets on your guts on the Post Pavilion Podcast. Yeah, the Post Pavilion Podcast!

Chris 40:50

Yeah, I messed up there, didn't I? There they go. Yeah, messed up there. Did there. But it's but look, it's one for the archives. It's one for the archives.

Paul 40:57

Uh so let's So anyway, we've gone up Mark it and we've got ourselves a jingle for what gets on your tuts. Yes.

Chris 41:02

There you go. And if you've if you find if you have a play around with AI and you think there's a better one, then send it in and we will put it on the ep on one of the episodes.

Paul 41:10

We might feature it.

Chris 41:12

Oh yeah, I like that. Right. Uh so what gets on your tuts this week? Um, so uh I had one this week, and this is this is only uh it just came to the forefront of my mind because of the fact that I've been driving a lot this week. Yeah, and you go down some roads which you've you've not confident with, and especially the back roads, you know, and I was doing the speed limit and cars overtaking me on back roads. Like, why? What's the point? Like, I I look it there's a I know there's a clear, straight road, but you're not gonna get there any faster. I was doing the stud the national speed limit because uh I daren't go over it. One, probably uh copper knowing my luck, just around the corner, and secondly, my car doesn't go that fast. So um I was thinking, why are you doing that? But then I I just sort of slowed down and went, Well, if you need to be in a hurry somewhere, crack on.

Paul 42:02

So let's just simplify that. So you're on a country lane, you're driving home late at night, and a car overtook you on a country lane.

Chris 42:09

Yeah, not one but two.

Paul 42:11

Two.

Chris 42:12

Which made me feel awful.

Paul 42:13

Are they in the wrong or are you in the wrong?

Chris 42:15

I was going at the speed limit.

Paul 42:17

Right, see, this is where I'm slightly different. I would be that guy that I would overtake you.

Chris 42:23

But why?

Paul 42:24

So I want to go home.

Chris 42:25

I know you want to go home. I want to get home, but I'm only gonna I'm not gonna put your foot down then. Look, you I do you know I actually I I haven't told you this, but uh last night I actually ran over a little mouse. I couldn't I did I and uh I heard the I went that's him gone, isn't it?

Paul 42:50

What a little mouse, but he didn't get his eyes going doom dum.

Chris 42:52

Yeah, he stopped.

Paul 42:53

How big was this mouse?

Chris 42:54

Actually, I don't know if it was a mouse, I think it might have been like a rat. It was it was a it had a had a long tail on it. And uh and all I saw was he kept going in and out of the road. I was like, mate, you've got to make a decision, and unfortunately it was the wrong decision.

Paul 43:08

Yeah, but it's true now though. It's it isn't it like isn't it in the highway code now that you you shouldn't, you can't, you're not supposed to stop.

Chris 43:17

No, well, I did I did save a rabbit though, so it did make me feel slightly better. About ten minutes later, there was a rabbit on the road. I went, whoa! Slow riding down. Slow down. I slowed down, and the s and the stupid rabbit didn't even bother moving. I was like, mate, I would have had you there, so I had to go, I had to go round him. Oh really? Yeah.

Paul 43:37

So um he had you there, didn't he? I reckon he got set up by his mates and went, right, next car comes in, you've got to start you've got to go in the middle of the road. Right. Is it like do you remember that game you used to play? Did you I bet you never played it? I did. It was called Chicken. Chicken Run. Yeah, like Chicken Run, where you like run across a really busy road to basically see if you didn't die or not. Yeah. Can you imagine kids playing that nowadays?

Chris 43:59

It's the same with Um cherry knocking. Do you do you call it cherry we we call it cherry knocking when you knock on the door and run? What do you call it?

Paul 44:07

Knock and run.

Chris 44:08

Oh, we call it cherry knocking.

Paul 44:10

Why cherry? What's cherry got to do with knocking on a door and running?

Chris 44:13

Gloucester thing. Oh, we're gonna go cherry knocking. You can't do that now because of the old um the old uh door ring doorbells.

Paul 44:19

But yeah, yeah, yeah, ring doorbells, yeah.

Chris 44:21

I do know what's funny, I caught what some of the kids doing that at my uh my house and uh they they re they ran up and they actually pressed the doorbell so we got the notification. I was like, oh that was a bit stupid, wasn't it? Sure, you got you got knock on the door and then run.

Paul 44:36

Oh sorry, I don't care about that. You call it cherry knocking.

Chris 44:38

Cherry knocking, yeah.

Paul 44:40

It's called knock and run.

Chris 44:41

Nah, I think it's no, there's we call it cherry knocking, where we just is a poll in the making.

Paul 44:45

I'm gonna hang on, and we're just gonna write in the notes cherry knocking. Or I don't know why we called it cherry knocking and run. Knock and run. What did you think? I was knocked, I remember knocking. We l I lived in a little village in Staffordshire towards before I left to left home and moved uh moved away. And it was a really quiet little village, and I remember going to knock on a door, but as I knocked on the door, the bloke answered the door. And I just went uh uh and he went, yeah, and I went this is awkward. Oh, do you is that what you said? Yeah, I just went, and he went, No. And I went, Alright, thanks. And then that night my dad came home, I think from work or he'd been for a beer and he came home and he went, Did you knock on so and so's door? I went, uh well, tried to, yeah. Tried to do a knock and run, but it went wrong. But it was literally at that one moment I knocked and went.

Chris 45:45

What do you say?

Paul 45:47

Well, I just said, Have you got any milk? Like like I needed milk. Um, but yeah, so but no, back to your touch, yeah. People that overtake you on country's. Um I think if it is safe to do so, there isn't the markings on the road that you say can't overtake. You are, I think, aren't you legally allowed to go slightly over the speed limit to overtake?

Chris 46:08

I don't think so. I don't think you can get away with that in your test. Go, well, look, I'm sure I read somewhere you can overtake on about road if there's no traffic. The other, the other, the other annoying thing is when people go too slowly, that's annoying, because that's that's actually just as dangerous. I have this last night.

Paul 46:24

Right, so cuz um because the boss has gone away, he's gone to do a show in Canada with a team. I have been given the van. So I'm now in the the the animal guy's van. It's currently parked on my drive, which is bigger than my house, but anyway, that's another story. Um and I was on the M5, I was going south, and I was in the second lane because I'd just overtaken someone. Yeah. So then I went back to the first lane because you can't you can't speed in a van anyway, so it's limited. It can only do like sixty, sixty-six, sixty-seven miles an hour. But it drives me up the wall, but anyway, so but as I was in the first lane, there was a uh I could tell I remember the car, it was a Kia, is it Picanto? Something like that. A small car. It a small car, it was in the second lane, and I'm going, I was getting closer to it in the first lane. I was like, Yeah, that annoys me. What are you doing?

Chris 47:24

Get out of the middle lane, get to the left hand side.

Paul 47:26

But then you get to the point where you go, well, I'm now next to it, I can't slow down to move into the second lane to go into the third lane to go to the second lane, back to the first. So I I had to undercut it. But you haven't got enough speed to really overtake it. Not really, no.

Chris 47:40

So I generally just sat in the first lane, just crawling, and then I just undertook it, and it was like I s I saw somebody on the road uh yesterday that was having a rut all pop at somebody in the middle lane. He went, he overtook them, and then uh went into the middle lane, they went to the left lane, and he just started pointing to go get in the left lane. I was like, fair play to him.

Paul 48:02

Yeah, I don't think we can I do you know what I think in this in this day and age? I don't think there's enough honesty in the world. Nah, I agree. I agree anyway. But right, I've got a tut. Have you got a tut? Yeah, okay. Yeah, I've got a tut. Pork and onion sausages. Yeah, yeah. Talk to me about pork and onion sausages.

Chris 48:18

I mean, well, every sausage has onion in it. Uh I love all the flavoured sausages. You camelised onion, your pig. Yeah, Lincolnshire. Ah, more flavour the better.

Paul 48:32

No, so we were we I went for a meal. I've just typed into Google. Do does pork sausages, and it came up, does pork sausages have protein? Um Sausages have onion.

Chris 48:44

Every sausage has onion in it. It's a bit of flavouring. There'll be some sort of flavouring or something. It'll be I am right, aren't I? So your little Richmond's sausage is.

Paul 48:56

Standard pork sausages very commonly contain onion or the dried onion pieces.

Chris 49:01

So you eating your little Richmonds. Got full of onion.

Paul 49:04

That's not true.

Chris 49:05

I think you just That's not true. I've worked out as well, being with you, going out for dinner. I've been out with dinner for you for ages and going, Yeah, you're quite picky in what you what you like and what you don't like. You go, oh no, I'm not eating that because that's got that on it. You go, well, that's the thing.

Paul 49:19

Yeah, so we no, but we went for and I was going to have the ultimate burger. Yeah, it sounded nice though, didn't it? I was it was sounded beautiful, and then it's had pulled pork on it. Oh, I don't want pulled pork. Oh, it's beautiful. Get off. A burger is a burger, beef burger. I don't mind an like like an ash brown. That spices it up a bit. In a beef burger in a beef burger, hash brown in a beef burger. Oh yeah, you've never been to a dodgy burger man, have you?

Chris 49:43

I've I've I don't in KFC.

Paul 49:45

I've had a chicken burger with a with a um. Well, that's ironically what I ended up having. But no, I just don't like I like what I like and I don't like what I don't like. I mean that's fair enough, but I mean But I'm fussy.

Chris 49:56

You you you turned down a sausage and mash because it had bacon on it.

Paul 50:00

No, I didn't. I turned down the sausage and mash because it said sausage and pork and onion sausage. What do you mean pork and onion sausage? Just give me a sausage.

Chris 50:09

Yeah, but it's got but it's part of the flavour, isn't it?

Paul 50:12

It's not part of the flavour. Just give me a good standard Richmond sausage. You can take the man out of Derby. Right, I'll tell you what, I had a I had a weird one the other day though. I was just walking around to my local Tesco's and um I have this hasn't happened to me for a while, but some kids came up to me, like they were like 13, 14, and they said, Can you do us a favour, mate? I was like, What? They were like, Can you um can you get us can you buy us 20 Richmond?

Chris 50:41

I was like sausages or the cigarettes.

Paul 50:45

We just ruined the joke. I was telling a joke. You ruined the joke. Sorry, I didn't really I thought it was a serious story. No, it wasn't. I was trying to tell a joke, and you just interrupted me.

Chris 51:00

Oh, come on. Tell me what a joke is.

Paul 51:03

No, forget it. You've just ruined my moment. I was try I was I was trying to I was trying to entice you in on a joke then, and you messed my joke up. You just interrupted and went, oh, was it the sausages or was it the actual cigarettes? That was part of the punchline, but you've just messed my joke up.

Chris 51:24

Oh, please tell me the joke now.

Paul 51:26

Well the joke is very standard. Some kids came up to me and said, Hey mate, do me a favour, you can go buy and be 20 Richmond. I went, yeah, no worries. I went in, I got them Richmond, they came back out. You should have seen their face faces, Ungrateful Sods, when I handed them 20 Richmond sausages. That was it. It's a really it was a really rubbish joke. But you just I was trying to sell it. Sorry. I was trying to sell the joke and you ruined it.

Chris 51:51

But it was the way you spoke about it. I thought you were talking about a serious boy.

Paul 51:54

Yeah, which actually is a twofold. I actually made it that believable that you thought you'd contribute to the conversation like some kids that actually walked up to me and said, Hi mate, we do us a favour, will you go and grab me 20 Richmond? First of all, a couple of questions. Why would a kid go to a grown-up saying, Can you go and grab me 20 sausages? They can do that anyway. It's called context and delivery of the joke. And you just I'm never going to a comedy club with you.

Chris 52:20

I'm fuming. Well, I think that's a good place to finish, don't you?

Paul 52:25

Yeah, I'll do you know what? I've been I've literally been out of bed exactly one hour. And guess what I'm doing?

Chris 52:30

Go back.

Paul 52:31

I'm literally getting back into bed.

Chris 52:32

I've ruined that joke for you.

Paul 52:34

Yeah, you've ruined it. To be fair, you've ruined it. Anyway, let's quickly do our star listener.

Chris 52:38

Yeah, let's quickly do the star listener.

Paul 52:39

Quickly do the star listener. Um, I don't care what Chris Gray says, he can kick off as much as he wants. But I think Amy deserves the right to be our star listener of the week by using a breast pump while she's listening to our podcast. Well, keep pumping and keep reviewing. Uh don't say keep pumping. That's weird. So, Amy, you are our star listener of the week. Well done, you. Uh I'm off to buy some Richmond sausages.

Chris 53:07

Well, thanks for listening. Uh, make sure you just uh any any uh any comments, any any messages, get in touch on our socials at postpavilion and podcasts. But from me, Chris and me Paul. So I was stretching. That's all right.

Paul 53:21

I'm j I'm just gonna go, you end it.

Chris 53:23

Well, the next few episodes are gonna be fun. Uh we're on tour for the next few weeks, so uh we'll have lots of stories to tell. I will see you on the next episode.